Sophie Hearn's Guide to Procrastination
Ever feel like you might actually get some work done? Running out of ways to procrastinate? Fear no more! Here is your personal guide to get you through finals! These are all tricks that have worked for me, so I can guarantee them for you!

A. Of course, post something useless and absurd on livejournal.

B. Read someone else's useless and absurd post on livejournal.

C. Practice typing your own name:
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
Sophie Hearn
... and so on.

D. Find some ice cream.
Damn, no ice cream.

Alternately, make s'mores!
No campfire? Me neither. Just use the stovetop. It works almost as well. As long as you don't mind carcinogenic marshmallows.

No chocolate? No problem! A convenient substitute is chocolate fondue. Mmm.. Melty.

E. Twiddle your thumbs!

G. Learn your alphabet better.

H. Get the ticks from off of your dogs. (If you have no dogs, you can always look for ticks on yourself.)

I. Start your summer homework before the school year's out.

J. Go to a friend's house for a "study" session with the intention of working hard, but knowing somewhere in the dark recesses of your mind that such a situation is entirely implausible.

K. Spend hours on the phone/text messaging people about how you are so stressed about studying.

L. Calculate the number of minutes until your Math exam. Then multiply by 60 to get seconds. (This way it looks like you have a reeeally long time to study before your final.)

M. Stare out at the Golden Gate bridge for a while. Remark on its beauty. Contrast it to the Richmond bridge which has no such beauty.

N. Pick at your fingernails.

O. kay I should really get off this thing and do my Chemistry.